Too young.

It's 4:46am. People die too young. They decide to take their lives, and I agree with them. I agree that they would decide to end soon, unlike others who decide to extend their pitiful existence for years on end. I think I am scared though, of the void, of the end. I am scared of ending my life before I am finished with it. I think one day I will accept it. Maybe I will finally be able to do it with full confidence. For the time being, I cannot do it. I have too much to do, before I end my life. It does feel like a sizzling fire though, I feel it at the back of my mind, I feel it there, sitting, waiting for me to be able to accept it. I wonder what could fool myself into this. Or maybe it is my future, my actual destiny to commit suicide. I would imagine so, because I have no real goals, or interests for humanity. I hold no legacy for this pitiful existence, I am simply watching as this whole failure of a society crumbles. It's okay though, I do not need to know or seek anything like so many others do, I think I am destined to die, like so many others. I will be fine, I will be something other than human, or something other than enjoying happiness. I am sad, I am destined for apathy, destined for failure, destined for the underlying disease of existence. I am simply, a loner.