Christmas

 It's currently 12:29AM. In the time of jolly merriment, I find myself sitting here in a cold night. There's no time like Christmas to enlighten me of my true detachment. As much as my family warms to my small mannerisms, I unlike they, do not feel much of anything when they express themselves. At times I feel like I am some sort of monster, a type of psychopath, with little emotion. Then I remember tearing up at the hint of death from imaginary animals in movies. No, this detachment isn't something to fill with moments with other beings, it's something intrinsic to my soul. I remember looking around the local store, couples hugging, family yelling at each other in a form of endearment. How annoying I thought, how they plaster themselves in happiness to express to the world for them to be jealous of. I linger in disgust, how crass they are! I should look within myself though, for they have what I do not, and I do envy that to a degree, but I shall try to despise them not for how they love. For we all crave love, even from animals. 

Tricks

 It is currently 12:20AM. There's a few tricks to a good home life. A good homelife consists of strangers gawking in admiration of your dedication in a family role. The loyal son, the thoughtful daughter, the strong husband, the loving wife. A good homelife comes with one casualty, true and honest genuineness. For every path they show you, your family will always decide what is correct for you. If you heed their requests the pestering and disappointment that comes with rejection, will cease.. for a time. Because for every time you will yourself to submit, a little piece of your very essence is stripped and rotted away. There will be a point in the future where you will stare back at the figure in the mirror and question, who the fuck is that? Wasted, months turn to years, and years turn to decades. Wasted time that could have been used to make something of your life, of your dreams, of your hopes, singing songs that would ring through your soul. A trick to a good home life? Complacency.