It's currently 5:28am. Tonight feels as many other nights. Simple, delicate, I think that is why I find myself waiting for something to happen. They say 23 is the age things finally start happening in your life. I disagree, because things have always happened, regardless of age I have had many things happen around me, that have changed me. So far, these days I haven't really felt a pull to do anything, it is an issue to not have things rattling around my brain, as if someone could simply not feel. I want to start posting more on my instagram, I should take more pictures, stream more, write more. Sometimes though, I feel nothing of the sort, so I stay stuck in the same place, anguishing over things I could fix, had I the intelligence, or the power to do so. Recently, I have been made aware of death. Death it seems, relates to many people. In death, we are all equal. I distrust people who have not seriously considered suicide. Why? Why would I distrust someone who hasn't suffered? It is because of the naivety of such a person who has not truly suffered. I find myself tiptoeing around these conversations, which should be free of judgement, but never are. Humanity is a disease, realizing this, would make any man want to die. Should we be free of these thoughts? I say no, because embracing death is not something that should be feared, but acknowledged. If I ever decide to die, know it is with much thought, and serious determination. From the abyss we come from, and to the abyss we will return.
