Looming Terror

It's 4:43am. I am lost in this abyss, my love. I am lost in your everlasting embrace. I am lost in this beckoning call to me. This call that cuts through my skin like butter, this call that makes me gag with poison in my lungs. Oh love, my love, how I wish to touch your skin! How I wish I could hold you together, with stitches made of my sadness! My poem to my love, my loneliness. I feel it, the looming dread, the looming terror, valentines day. This day signifies love, empathy, compassion for another. I think people struggle with this because they are like me, unfeeling, uncaring. They willfully ignore their urges to pretend they have some sort of morality. They profusely dictate how above the average they are, with their meaningless cries of love, or gifts that bring simple joys. To someone like me, I feel indifferent, not because I detest such cries, but because I do not feel it. I do not feel such feelings of love, of connection. It's a bit annoying, I will not lie, to listen to babbling people speak about their significant others and their so "pure" relationship. It's annoying because one knows they lie through their teeth, no relationship is "pure" or completely invulnerable. Relationships are riddled with holes that are glaring to any person. We as people, should not cater to this ridiculous concept of a complete full feeling, when with another. It is a feeble attempt at distancing oneself from the truth, the void that is always in our soul. That is why, I choose loneliness as my companion, for eternity. Loneliness will never leave me, or hurt me in a way I do not see coming. It is comfortable, and forever there staring back at me. People, can be replaced, but loneliness, TRUE loneliness, can never change. So tonight I say, I love you, and forever will love you loneliness.