Currently 5:59am. I am not tired, I feel very empty in every sense of the word. I feel no lust towards anything, no interest or joy in anything. Bored, I'm bored. I can imagine living like this, for a few years, and it's almost unbearable, the emptiness of my head. Like, I have been hollowed out. Who has the strength to do anything, when times such as these come? Who has the strength to even want? How does one exist, I begin to question. I begin to question the futility, of anything and everything. Everything, at some point, feels meaningless, but it hold no weight, my words, there's no sadness or pain with anything I say. Like I am in a limbo, but it is so dulled out and grey that even the slightest of emotion would at least begin to pull me in a direction, yet I feel none. It is like trying to cry, when you are not even the least bit sad. I remember moments like these, so well, I would end up looking up gore, to shock me into reality, but when there is none, I am sorely empty. It is not loneliness that I feel, because one would feel sad and pitiful in such a mood. Simply put, I am like one of the many bugs that buzz into your room on a hot summer day, unaware, only existing for sustenance, and unimportant. Times like these, I can't seem to form sentences, much less have anything of interest to say, or do. I think I am fading away again.
