Lucidity in Loneliness

It's 6:08am. Tonight I want to speak about a few things, whether you can empathize is up to you. I felt alive a few days ago, strangely it was like the fog was lifted from my brain. I am usually in this state of complete unawareness. This state of murky fog that envelops my brain at all times. I think it is why I have decreased senses. That day though, even if it was for only a few hours, I felt real. I felt like I was in the present, not lingering on the past or thinking about the future. I wonder, if it is what others feel like at all times, being completely aware of everything around them. It was not like when I drank an energy drink, to try and increase my processing. It was more like, I could see everything, and I could process normally. The normal, the mound of flesh. They have these things that make them so abhorrently average, it is strange to be someone like me, to want those things. I detest them, how normal and so in sync with life, they are. How they could be satisfied with simple things. Oh how my stomach turns to think of myself assimilating like they do! Do they not want something else!? How can they be so alright with everything?! I need to study them further, to see them more often, to figure out who they are.