Fractured

 Its currently 6:48am. Not much going on, well not much to speak about. If I am being honest I didn't expect to get this far,  to keep on breathing the same air, talking to the same people, its strange to me. I think maybe I'm not really supposed to be here. I always thought I would be gone by now. I know, its a bit morbid, I know its a bit melodramatic, but fuck it. I'm a bit drunk but I feel fine. I feel fine, I'm fine. I think inside today, I'm just really sad, almost like its too much for my heart to handle. I don't know where it comes from but no amount of tears could ever make me feel better, no hugs, no amount of therapy... maybe I was just born broken, or damaged. I think I'm a freak, a person without an objective, unnatural. Who cares, though. What matters is what I decide to do with my life, maybe ill do something worthwhile! Because fuck the world! And fuck these people! 

Wake

 Currently 6:35am. I just don't want to wake up, I remember the times in school that I had the constant thought, I wish I never woke up. Most days I wish the next day would never come, when my eyes never opened again. I wish I was more drunk to say this, more tired, more sad. Unfortunately I'm not. I keep expecting these things in my life, like I'm owed them, by some sort of miracle they would appear before me, and they just never happen. I wish I could wallow in this eternity of self indulgent pity forever, but that wouldn't be very "healthy" would it? If only it were...