The face in the mirror

It's 5:14am. Tonight I want to talk about the feeling of strangeness. Of a feeling that is an outer body experience. Often times, I am not really present, in a lot of situations. Most of the time, I do not feel things profoundly. I think it's this strange thing in me, to make me like so. I am usually lost in the small things I see, in my life. Small feelings, or small things in the world that bring me more awe than the overall situation. I don't think I am complete. Tonight, I felt out of place. As I did the same things I did a thousand times before, I felt incredibly afraid. Afraid that those same things brought me no feelings. I felt like I could not do these things anymore. It was like I was not in my body, trying to grab the wheel of my walking flesh. Like I was some sort of demon settling into this being. I was afraid I would never be the same again. I was afraid I could never be the same. It's scary, it's horrifying to be honest. Maybe I need to throw myself into this feeling, this horrifying thing, to know what it feels like to be out of place. To know what one feels to be stranger than I already am.