Surely

It's 4:31am. I'm not drunk enough. I'm not drunk enough to pretend I can act how I please. God how I miss my friends. I keep thinking I have some sort of disease that affects my friendships. This disease that poisons my being. How I could be so blind to them is beyond me. Oh my god I wish I was unemotional, because these feelings torture me so! How I ponder the things I said so profusely! Every night I just want to feel nothing, I just want to drown my sorrows in some sort of addiction, or numbing feeling. I can never find it. Man, I wish I was dead. So that no other would dare touch this poison of me. I am a freak, a futile attempt at life, a fucked up broken being. I feel no empathy, I seek no pleasure, I am not meant for a world like this. I hate everyone, and everything so strongly. I have this hatred for the normal, how they clamor to their simple emotions, or simple highs. It makes me sick, to live with the same people who would turn with the slightest of push. They are trash, and they should be buried among the heaps of their own filth. Fuck society, fuck their feelings, fuck their ideas, and fuck whatever they want from us. I hope they suffer in their demise.