Secretly, maybe, crazy

It's 1:04am. I awoke today, believing I was insane. I thought I was institutionalized. What's strange is, I felt comfortable there. It was white, filled to the brim with obvious cliches from the movies and shows that we always see. I was saddened deeply, to awake. I felt more at home there, than I did when I was alive. Then again, I felt like the doors that are chained up in my brain were broken, finally open. No longer, I had this thing inside me that made me so strange, like I was finally able to breathe again. Like I was normal, and then began to think that is how normal people feel every single day. I hope that one day, I feel complete like that, it's painful to know I will never have that emotion again, because I know that things in this world aren't enough. Maybe it is my inner cynic, to know such pain and embrace the sadness for the rest of my life.