It's currently 12:50am. Why are you still here? It's been three weeks and you're still here, I can hear your soft whispers. Like the mermaids sweet lullaby I'm entranced. I can almost taste your lips with every note. It's been three weeks and you're still here and I can't get you out of my head. I can't let you leave.
There's no reason for me to keep feeling anything for you, yet I can't forget you. I can't forget the moments I wished would've happened. The words I wanted to say to you. For a moment I really thought I could open my heart. For a single moment I really thought I could change. Yet as the days go by, I see I never meant a single thing for you. Another disillusioned lost boy in a sea of men. Another tool to use. Another moment of sexual disappointment. I can see I meant nothing. And yet I grieve, I ache for your dulcet voice, I long for your scent. There's nothing for me, I was fine with my solitude, I was broken but put together, and now I'm scattered amongst miles of sand and bones. I do appreciate the time we shared, for without it I would never know my reality. The reality of love. Love that I cannot ever share, love that I despised so much, love that I forever envy. It's something to observe from afar, I see that now. Never will I entertain the warmness of it. Never will I open myself again. Never will I hold you in any contempt, because I know you along with countless other lovers seek it, to grow from it. I hate that I could never love you, and I'm sorry.
too real, as a genderfuild person i find it really difficult to find partners too especially when my options have be to narrow down to much. but eventually time heals all pains💔… or maybe this is about loss of life..idk
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