Loner/Lover

It's 5:54pm, on the fourth of July. Usually, I have this desire to boast about my accomplishments, or embellish on meaningless things in my life. Honestly I don't wish to come off as a person that likes to pretend he's more than he is. I am simple, simple to almost a detriment. My life is so meaningless, if I died tomorrow, there would be little people to show up at my funeral, I feel myself slipping in and out of a state of madness at times, dark and blotchy. I have these strange ideas, that when I am in the midst of euphoria, that you get from the close people around you, it puts me off. It's as if I'm not in completely, like I'm feigning these emotions to please the people around me. It's not that I hate them, I do not hate them, I simply dislike them, I dislike the feeling of community. I at times feel like an alien in the sea of humans, not in a way that my individuality can be something to be proud of. More of a way that my individuality makes me abnormal, it makes me excluded from these people. I cannot enjoy family, I seem to be a bit odd, in that way. I cannot completely give myself to people it seems, and I don't think that is evil or wrong, but it makes me very lonely. I am lonely. So alone I will stand, if only to give hope to someone that feels the same as I. To those individuals, I say stand alone as well, for we are one and the same even if we are worlds apart, I am here, I am real. Fear me.