Thanksgiving

 It's currently 11:54pm. Thanksgiving was a few days ago. I can't tell you how much I detest family. Not them no, my family has done nothing but show me love for the entirety of my 28 years on this earth. Yet I find myself all too distant from them, each time they show affection, I distance myself. Why? I believe it's because it's too foreign a concept for me, I have grown to not need such affection. So why seek it out? Why pretend so much with them? Family is nice to see, to see them enjoy the feeling of connection with each other, but to one such as me, it falls too short. I sit there, smiling not because I feel a sense of connection, or love but of the joy it brings to me that they are enjoying themselves. A sacrifice. Add it to the list of the weight I must carry to allow them comfort. I believe one day I shall be liberated though, when my family is dead I will have nothing. In that nothing though, I hope to find true meaning, less I fall into a pit of true dispair of living.