Right? Right.

 It's 12:05am. Recently I noticed something, a shared agreement. At my workplace I have a second after doing my job, it was in this second or I should say minutes, that I met the eyes of a younger me. Someone who shared my pain as I did when I was her age. She smiled, as she met my gaze and I back as in this shared idea. Her mother accompanied her, loudly speaking about every little detail she could muster of her dissatisfaction of her surroundings. I know all too well of a neurotic mother, someone who is never truly happy. I knew how this child must've grown up faster than she meant to, how she would eventually regret the misssed years of childhood she had to negate to comfort others. I knew there, that she was like me. It's strange how the world works, how it flucuates and shifts, yet shows us time and time again how similar we all are. People really are just... the same. 

Thanksgiving

 It's currently 11:54pm. Thanksgiving was a few days ago. I can't tell you how much I detest family. Not them no, my family has done nothing but show me love for the entirety of my 28 years on this earth. Yet I find myself all too distant from them, each time they show affection, I distance myself. Why? I believe it's because it's too foreign a concept for me, I have grown to not need such affection. So why seek it out? Why pretend so much with them? Family is nice to see, to see them enjoy the feeling of connection with each other, but to one such as me, it falls too short. I sit there, smiling not because I feel a sense of connection, or love but of the joy it brings to me that they are enjoying themselves. A sacrifice. Add it to the list of the weight I must carry to allow them comfort. I believe one day I shall be liberated though, when my family is dead I will have nothing. In that nothing though, I hope to find true meaning, less I fall into a pit of true dispair of living.