Right now it's 7:38pm. I'm sitting here in complete and utter distress, yet again my brain refuses to let me ponder meaningless interests or ambition from the standpoint of my fellow man. It's been reiterated more than once, that I am an asexual. I have always had a disinterest in sex, and all associated feelings with this. Romance could only be felt through observation for me, never felt it firsthand. I numbed myself to a point in which romance could never be in my life. At the same time, I didn't feel upset about it, the only thing that upsets me about this is the rest of my being. I believed and still do believe I must be unwell, or too messed up to ever even consider love. The fact that sex is such an integral part of our society is upsetting to say the least. Disgust, anger and sadness, those are the feelings I attribute to sex. It is disgust because of the act itself, genitalia, something we all hide as to not bother others with it's disgusting presence. Anger because of my own personal incorrectness, my own inadequacies. Sadness because of my irritable nature, my ugly and frankly unnatural demeanor. I keep asking myself WHY why do people find sex such an important part of love? Then I remember I am not normal, I am not like they, why do I keep trying to force myself to be like them? Sex is important because it shows them gratitude, it shows interest, it shows that they are beauty incarnate. Sex is integral for them. Not for us, though, not for us.
obviously ppl wanna have sex because there horny but adding to that. It’s trusting someone with the most fragile part of there body. Not only showing a physical condition but a deep enough emotional one too. I think there’s beauty in sex to some extent and even if you’re asexual your still perfect the way you are and are and i know i can’t relate but i understand why it would make you feel that way. On skibidi
ReplyDeleteon skibidi fr I appreciate that
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