It's currently 2:35am. I decided to write this in midst of my trip. My thoughts keep racing, and I feel so good? Good. I feel so tortured daily, day in and day out the monotony of life. The constant upkeep of social life. Nowadays I feel enamored by the allure of you, of solitude. I try the ebb of socialization, of the need of constant admiration or love of connecting. Yet I come face to face with my end game, the realization of how damaged, how rotten I am. I do not DESERVE love. I DESERVE to suffer, to feel pain and torture. It is my curse to bear. Humanity is not something I wish to connect with. People are much too selfish, evil, and diseased. No more, I cry for release. The release I get is in solitude, for my adoration of the alone. No more I will desire, to connect I reject them. I reject their attempts, I am alone in my desires. In my solitude. I will love no other! I will love you, my solitude.
