It's 11:48pm. Tonight I feel drunk again on my emotions. Again I find myself distraught and tossed across my room. I have felt somewhat sad as of late, missing my first loves. It's interesting to view, such wrong people who entered my life could leave just as fast. I feel a little abandoned, which seems like such a foreign emotion. To miss, even when they still live? It makes little sense. I think I got too close, opened myself too much. I felt it though, their pull away, their disinterest. I could taste it. I could taste it in their movements, their face when I told them about my sincerities, their tone. How I wished my love could withstand such brutality, my heart cold as ice, made of stone for so long had begun to melt. After this though, this sorrow, this failure, I have fallen into my old ways. The old ways of numbness, of solitude. I think, truly, this must be my future. This, along with my distaste, my distrust, and anger for my fellow man. I speak now, as a man that has lived through heartache, one who has gathered most of the flesh from my heart, never again. It was never on my path, and as much as I forced it, it can never be. Alone I will walk until my feet shall bleed love, but it will be mine alone and forever for myself.
